TOPIC: Writing Terms (part 1)

Ever attended a writers’ conference and been bamboozled by a host of acronyms or writing terms you’ve heard of but never quite understood? Here’s a few you might hear bandied about…

GMC – goal, motivation, conflict, used in reference to the characters in the story. Often referred to as what the character wants, why the character wants it and what’s stopping them attaining it.
HEA – happily ever after
HFN – happy for now
HMB – Harlequin Mills & Boon
ms. or mss. – manuscript or manuscripts
UF – urban fantasy genre
PR – paranormal romance genre
SFR – science fiction romance genre
rom.sus. – romantic suspense genre
FR – fantasy romance genre
EF – epic fantasy genre
DUF – dark urban fantasy genre
ST – single title (approx.80 000 words or more)
QL – query letter
FK – first kiss
POD – print on demand
POV – point of view
WIP – work in progress

Have I missed any? Feel free to add them in as a comment! :-)

CRAFT: How deep can you go? (Deep Point of View)

For a long time one of the techniques I struggled with in my writing was deep point of view. Some of my contest feedback alluded to it, many of the responses I received from agents and editors often sometime said “I felt distanced from your characters, I couldn't engage with them.”

And for a very long time I had no idea what they meant. It wasn’t until one judge gave me an example that I “understood”.

Being told over and over just doesn’t do it for me. I have to see a practical sample of work – before and after - to understand what something means. I need to see the details and how to do it before applying it in my own work.

(NB: I'm no expert at this. I'm just passing on a little of what I learned along the way in my own writing journey. It's the technique (aka the tool) I want you to take away from this post. OK?)

What is deep POV? Well, it’s like writing third person as if it was first person.

Linnea Sinclair defines it really well - "It's writing AS the character rather than ABOUT the character. Qualifiers like "he thought" or "she wondered" are dropped in favor of just writing what it was she thought or wondered about. It encourages a more intimate relationship between reader and character, almost like the reader is IN the character’s skin."

So, because I needed practical samples, and many writers prefer this learning style, here are some examples of what I mean.

ORIGINAL: She located the owner of the outraged voice.  A jeweller stood in front of his stall, hand grasping the back of a shirt worn by a small child.  As the child struggled in his grip, Nea saw the frightened face of a girl peer up at her captor.

TO: The jeweller stood in front of his stall grasping the back of a small child’s shirt.
"Get back here!" The child cringed at the growled order and fought to get free.
Nea’s heart pounded. Fists clenching, she pushed through the crowd. The trader was twice her size. There was no need to man-handle her. What had the child done to earn such treatment?

Rather than a "blow by blow" list of what happened (telling), the second example shows the action from a closer perspective. There's no "She located..." or "Nea saw..." - this serves to distance the reader from what's happening.

Removing them brings the reader in closer to the action. And see how the last two sentences also add that little bit more - a visceral reaction (automatic response generated by the body without conscious thought), and a question from Nea's point of view.

Let's take a look at another example...

ORIGINAL: Pointedly she raised her eyebrows at the firm hold he still had on the child.

TO: Her eyebrows raised at the firm hold he still had on the child.

Look at the words I removed from the first sentence - "Pointedly she raised her eyebrows...". Read the sentence out loud. Sound clunky? It sure does. Why? Well, the sentence starts with an adverb and then we have some more of those "distancing words" again.

So, let's look at the second example. I've taken out the adverb and the distancing words. (By the way, you'll hear a lot of people say to get rid of all of them, but to be honest, nothing says you can't have them in your work, just use them judiciously. If you can replace them with something else that makes a better impact, then do it.)

It might only be a simple one sentence edit but which one has more impact on you as a reader?

Another example...let me set the scene. Nea's been captured after helping two children escape some bad guys and she's on her way to prison.

ORIGINAL: Nea swallowed dryly.  This time there would be no escape.   The flutter of a curtain in the window of one of the nearby houses caught her attention.  She saw the scared face of a young child peering out over the sill, eyes wide as he watched the procession going by his house.  Her thoughts turned to Jarrod and Lani.  She hoped the children had escaped safely.  If they had it would make what lay ahead bearable.

TO:  A curtain in the window of one of the nearby houses fluttered.  The face of a young child peering out over the sill, eyes wide as he watched the procession going by his house.
Nea swallowed dryly. This time there would be no escape. Had Jarrod and Lani made it to freedom?  Were they safe?  If they had it would make what lay ahead bearable.

OK, now it's your turn. What changes did I make from the first to the second examples? Did I remove any "distancing words"? Which ones? If you said, "She saw, she hoped, Her thoughts", you're right. They're all telling you what the character did.

How did I go from telling to showing? Did I restructure any sentences? How did I do that?

Yes, I kept an adverb. See, you can use them. But remember, use them wisely.

I kept this one because there are a heck of a lot of ways to swallow or reasons for swallowing. I put it in for brevity and clarity. I didn't want the scene to be about how she swallowed, that wasn't the focus (the aim was to feel Nea's concern for the children and their safety).

So, I used an adverb to keep the pace moving and the focus on her internalisations. Use them, but make an impact. Make every word pull its own weight in the sentence.

Internalisations - I've used questions again to pull the reader into the characters skin.

Seems simple doesn't it? :-)

All right, last example, another easy fix...

ORIGINAL: Her cheeks heated. Merciful Mother, what had possessed her to respond with such an asinine response?

TO: Merciful Mother, what an asinine response. Her cheeks heated.

Can you identify the differences? The first sentence is clunky, too many words. Tweak and restructure and in the second example you now have a more intimate, more engaging, more true-to-the-character response.

So, homework, folks! (yes, sorry, but that's my teacher-side coming to the fore, can't get away from it!)

First task...go to your bookshelf. Pick out a couple of your favourite books. Open up to any page. Read a few paragraphs and analyse them. How did the author construct their work? Is it written in tight point of view? How did they do it?

Second task...(if you're a writer)...look at your own writing. Select a random page. Read it. Can you identify areas where you could improve it? How? Try it.

Apply what you've learnt and your story will be much stronger for it. Here ends the lesson. :-)

Happy writing!

CRAFT: Need help with your crafting skills?

Over the years I've collected a heap of website links that I've used at various stages in my writing journey. Some I still use because they really gel with my style as a writer, others are more research or information based sites.

Maybe some of these might work for you.

How to Write Query Letters/Synopses/Proposals (a screed of helpful articles compiled by Gabrielle Luthy)
Georges Polti's 36 Dramatic Situations (a site that lists and gives great detail on the situations you find in most stories)
Great Source - grammar (a wonderful basic guide to grammar)
How to write a novel using the Snowflake Method (starting small & building on your ideas)
Kathy Carmichael's Pitch Generator (how to create the basics for a pitch)
Dictionary of Sexual Terms
Australian Military Organisation & Structure (ranks in the army, navy & airforce)
The Passionate Pen (a list of romance publishers)
Wordle (a great way to check for repetitious words in your work)
Karen Fox's Romance Deals (a year by year list of deals, a bit like Publishers Marketplace)
Author Tech Tips (some hints about what titles to avoid using in your blog)

I hope you find some of these as helpful as I did!

CRAFT: Attention Grabbing Beginnings (Part 3)

I really enjoyed picking out paragraphs for this series of posts. It took me some time to wade through my shelves and decide which openings grabbed my attention but it was fun.

This week sentence structure played a big part in why I chose these two books as great beginnings. See what you think...

The next scene, from Nina Bang’s A TASTE OF DARKNESS, starts from the hero’s point of view.
Werewolves-furry pains in the butt.
Werecats-sneaky, whisker-twitching manipulators.
Werejerks-every freakin’ loser with a were in front of its name.
Reinn hated them all. But most of all Reinn hated his job. Guardian of the Blood. What a crock.
He’d been a warrior in some form or another for most of his thousand years of existence. When he’d finally decided to walk away from that life, he’d bought a house and property in the Colorado Rockies, and then settled down to be alone. That was it. He. Wanted. To. Be. Alone. No friends, no emotional chains, no vulnerabilities.
Yeah, he was one cold bastard. But he was one cold bastard who was still alive.
Phew, that’s one dark, tortured hero. More questions? No answers? Oh, didn’t that happen in the last scene we read?
Take another look at the passage. Reread the first three lines. Do you detect a staccato rhythm in the descriptive phrases? Like the internal ravings of someone angry at the world. Hmm, emotional overtones.
Also note the broken structure of the sentence towards the end – He. Wanted. To. Be. Alone. Attention grabbing? You betcha. Effective. Yep.
And what about this? No friends, no emotional chains, no vulnerabilities. More strong emotion that creates a need to find out why. You’ve got to read on to find out more.

“The King must die.”
Four single-syllable words. One by one they were nothing special. Put together? They called up all kinds of bad shit: Murder. Betrayal. Treason.
Death.
I’m a huge fan of J.R.Ward but even if I hadn’t been, this opening scene from LOVER AVENGED just grabbed me and I was skimming the words as quickly as I could to find out who, why, where and what the heck was going on.
Very sharp, short sentences. Each word carefully chosen for maximum impact. Tension and excitement. The last four one-word sentence just go from icckk, to uh-oh, gasp, and ewww. The mind is calculating scenarios and the eyes are racing down the page wanting to read more. Know more.
The illiteration of the ‘s’-sound in the first sentence is great – single syllable words. And the character has attitude – look at the phrasing of the fourth sentence – They called up all kinds of bad shit… Pretty powerful for a such a short opening scene.

Last post for this series next week!

CRAFT: Attention Grabbing Beginnings (Part 2)

How have you gone reading some of your "keepers" and looking at their opening few paragraphs? Did you analyse what made them appealing? Was it the author's voice? Did they open with riveting dialogue or a fantastic action scene or something usual with an unusual twist?

Here are two more of my favourite openings...

Not many people can handle the pain of being ripped apart, of having your limbs twisted and morphed until you are convinced your mind will shatter into a thousand tiny shards.
I can. And I’m tired of hiding my true nature so that humans can sleep better at night, convinced their actually in control of this tiny blue-brown planet. They need to know the truth-they need to realize that they’re not at the top of the food chain.
Far from it.
An unknown character’s point of view begins this scene in RED by Jordan Summers. The subject matter certainly grabs your attention in the first eleven words, doesn’t it? The second half of the sentence just makes you wince and wonder who this character is. Surely it can’t be the hero or heroine?
The ominous overtones deepen in the second paragraph. Why is this character tired of hiding his/her true nature? Why are they hiding anyway? Is this a world that doesn’t tolerate non-humans? Why do they feel the need to show humans they’re not at the top of the food chain? What did they do to the character to provoke him/her out of hiding?
Hey, more questions and a need to read on to find out the answers.

In SHADOW TOUCH by Marjorie M.Lui we meet our heroine in a strange situation.
Shortly before being shot in the back with a tranquilizer dart and dumped half-dazed on a stretcher, right before being stolen from the hospital by silent men in white coats, Elena Baxter stood at the end of a dying child’s bed, her hand on a small bare foot, and attempted to perform a miracle.
She was good at miracles. She had been practicing them for her entire life, and at twenty-eight years of age, had become quite proficient at the art of doing strange and wonderful things.
I don’t know about you but my mind immediately said, “Hey, what?” when I read the part about being tranquilized and kidnapped. I just had to read on to find out why someone would do that.
Then I discover our heroine is a woman I can like – she’s at a hospital helping a child she doesn’t even know, risking exposure to use her supernatural ability to heal the child. How can we not care for her and worry when we discover she’s been harmed?
What do I do? Read on.

I'll post another in this series next week. Stay tuned! :-)