TOPIC: Everything You Know About Romance Novels Is Wrong (part 2)

This is a continuation of the post from saturday, 8th December 2012 on Everything You Know About Romance Novels Is Wrong (part 1).

Kymberly from the Grumble Bumble blog has generously given her permission for me to share this post with you.

Myth #3: Romance novels are predictable.
Boy and girl fall in love. The end. That's supposedly what all romance novels contain. Once you've read one, you've read them all. Bo-ring!

I always enjoyed this perception of romance novels, because it's exactly what I hate about, say, mystery novels. Alcoholic cop is stalked by serial killer who taunts him. Alcoholic cop bucks the system and saves a pretty woman right before serial killer murders her in some elaborate fashion. Sound at all familiar?

Books within any genre can stick to a formula, if their authors desire to do so. I can't think of any book that doesn't contain an element that hasn't been done and done and done. Robots? Aliens? Zombies? Vampires? Alcoholic cop taunted by serial killers? Done! Done! Done! So what? If it's written well and people enjoy reading it, what's the problem?

If I'm bored by a romance novel, I stop reading it. I do the same when I read any other book, especially one where a cop just won't follow the rules.

But romance novels rarely bore me. I just find cowboys avenging the murder of their sister and dukes rebuilding the estate ruined by their fathers and maids hunting for a way to get their family out of poverty and pirates discovering stowaways off the coasts of India interesting. And those are just the historical romance novels!

There's also contemporary romance, paranormal romance, romantic suspense, science fiction romance and even inspirational romance, where God is part of the equation. My best friend reads romance novels about Navy SEALS and bounty hunters and FBI agents and the women who love them. I prefer my novels with dashing dukes and duchesses and cowboys and heiresses and spunky modern women who just don't have time for love. Give me a witch and a haunted castle and I'm in heaven.

And I happen to have a ridiculous soft spot for time travel romances, especially ones that involve Vikings. The romance genre has all that and more. This is a big damn tent; come on in.

Do boy and girl fall in love (and these days, boy and boy and girl and girl or some combination thereof) and have a happy ending? Almost always. Just like the hardboiled detective usually solves the case in mysteries and the disaffected writer usually ends up alone and confused in "literature" and the hungry-for-love career girl usually gets her guy in "chick lit."

Get away from me with pinning this "formulaic" accusation on romance novels alone. (You want me to go into a lengthy dissertation on devaluation of the feminine and reduction of an encompassing human emotion to silly women's nonsense? I can do it, I'm not even lying. Don't tempt me.)

Moving on...

Myth #4: The heroes in romance novels are always perfect.
NO, THEY ARE NOT. Honestly, I can't even stand to read a romance novel where the guy is perfect. But, even more honestly, I can't remember the last one I encountered where the hero is perfect instead of, you know, human, with, like, flaws.

I just read one where the hero is terrified of water because his son drowned. Another where the hero can't stand to be around fire because he was burned. There are heroes who are addicted to drugs and alcohol. And many, many heroes who have a significant disability in either their body or mind.

To imply that romance novels only have "perfect" men demeans writers, by implying they have no imagination, and readers, by implying all readers only want a perfect man. Even the physically gorgeous specimens who drip with money and class generally have prejudices and obstacles they must overcome in order to be deserving of the heroine. Because, in the end, romance novels are about the heroine.

And finally...

Myth #5: Heroines in romance novels are always beautiful.
Truly, romance novels are about the heroine. It is the heroine who grows and, by growing, attains that which she desires, which, by the way, usually isn't just the hot guy -- often it is a great job or a beautiful home or a loving family or travel around the world or an illness or disability defeated or adjusted to or any number of things too many to list.

And the heroines can be beautiful, just like the heroes can be gorgeous, but it's not required. I think if every character was flawless, romance readers would revolt en masse. And, like heroes, heroines in romance novels have obstacles to overcome.

And, often, these obstacles involve the heroine's perception of her appearance. They think they're too fat, or too skinny, or too pale, or too dark, or hate their frizzy hair, or their dull brown eyes. It is through the introduction (or reintroduction) of a person into their lives or through an alteration of their circumstances that they begin to see themselves as worthy. Just the way they are.

Now, that's the kind of story I'd want my daughter to read. One where the heroine overcomes obstacles, learns to love herself, and gets the guy. Oh, and has lots of great sex too.

What's not to love? 

Many thanks to Kymberly from Grumble Bumble blog for allowing me to share her post here!

TOPIC: Everything You Know About Romance Novels Is Wrong (part 1)

I found this blog and article mentioned on Facebook and loved the debunking of some common myths associated with the romance genre.

Kymberly from the Grumble Bumble blog has kindly given me permission to post this two-part series here on my blog.

Everything You Know About Romance Novels Is Wrong (part 1)

Recently, a guest speaker in a class asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I said, "Romance novelist."

His response? "I'm not touching that one."

My response? "I thought so."

I knew I'd throw him off, you see. I should be ashamed that I'd like to write romance novels, right? Well, I'm not.

Then the other night a classmate asked me about my desire to write romance novels. And of course -- OF COURSE -- he asked, "Like 50 Shades of Grey?"

Ugh. I wonder how many romance novelists are so sick of that book for that reason. How many times does someone ask them what they do, to which they respond that they write romance novels, only to have that person ask, "Like 50 Shades of Grey?" I'd like to put a stake through the heart of 50 Shades of Grey for that reason alone.

(Also, 50 Shades of Grey is an awful book. I finally caved and read it because, like, every person possessing a vagina is apparently required to read it. And I believe the only way to truly hate something is to know it. So I read it. It's one of the worst books I've ever read. The hero is an abusive asshole. There's an entire page in the book where the discussion between the hero and heroine goes like this:

"Will you beat me again?"
"Do you want me to beat you again?"
"No."
"I'd like to beat you again. Don't you like it?"
"No. Please don't beat me again."

I'm not even joking. Also, it's poorly written. If 50 Shades of Grey is written well enough to be an international bestseller, my shitty blog should earn me a damn Pulitzer.)

So let's talk about how everything you know about romance novels is wrong. First of all, have you read one? No? Then shut up. I read 50 Shades of Grey. I at least suffered in order to earn my right to say how awful it is. If you haven't read a romance novel then YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP.

It's time for you to learn something... 

Myth #1: Romance novels are porn for women.
First of all, if romance novels are porn for women, how is that a problem? Men are allowed (even supposed to) like porn, but not women? What bull!

But I maintain that romance novels are not pornography. Pornography centers on the sex act as the most important element of the "story." Romance novels revolve around a love story. Sex, being a very significant element of relationships and falling in love, often occurs in romance novels (but not always). And I really don't see the problem with that, but there's a big difference between "centers on a love story" and "centers on a sex act."

And if you don't know the difference, I kinda feel sorry for whoever is in a relationship with you.

Next up...

Myth #2: Romance novels are rape-y.
Like many myths, this one has a basis in fact while still being largely untrue. This is how I'd describe it: Romance novels used to  be rapey. They aren't anymore. In early decades of the genre, which just so happened to coincide with decades in which women had limited sexual agency, romance novels contained rape at a much higher rate than romance novels published in more recent decades.

There's actually a reason for this, one that I hinted at with "decades in which women had limited sexual agency." Back in the day, a woman who had premarital sex was a slut. Women who read books in which women had premarital sex were reading books about sluts.

Even today, there's a large number of people who think a woman who enjoys sex is a slut and a bad person, so don't try to claim this wasn't a big deal or that women did not and do not internalize these kinds of societal norms. We do. So, in order to make a heroine palatable for a reader while also allowing a book to have a sex scene, heroes in romance novels often raped the heroine. It's a crazy idea to grasp, but it's true.

Think of it like this: The heroine really, really wants something but she knows it's wrong, which, shockingly, just so happened to sync with the reader really, really wanting something but knowing it's wrong. Weird how that works. In order to give both the heroine and the reader that thing that they really, really wanted but couldn't say yes to, the hero made the decision for them, thus releasing them from responsibility for desiring things they aren't supposed to desire.

(I feel it's important to point out that this is fantasy. Don't go walking away thinking I'm saying women want to be raped. I'm explaining the history of a genre to you, not describing modern women's psychology. Don't be an idiot.)

With second-wave feminism in the '70s came the radical concept that women enjoy sex. And romance novels began to incorporate this new ideology. Modern romance novels -- as in, romance novels published in recent decades -- no longer need this device to sooth the reader's soul and glad we are for that!

Heavy lifting done, time to move on to the fluffier stuff... 

The second part of Grumble Bumble's post will appear here on my blog Tuesday, 11th December, 2012!

Month of HOT Heroes - Champion!

Thank you to everyone who participated in the second MONTH OF HOT HEROES - it's been a lot of fun.

It was close but ... here are your HOTTEST Hero! (yes, you managed to deadlock the voting for a second time but hey, there's nothing wrong with sharing the title!)

Sean Bean

Gerard Butler

Month of HOT Heroes - Finalists!

It's been an onerous job, but I'd like to thank everyone who took on the challenge and voted to decide who would make the finals in our Month of HOT Heroes.

Now it's time to decide on the Best of the Best. (Remember we had a tie in Week 1 so that's why there are 5 heroes to choose from.)

Cast your vote carefully! (polling ends Friday 5th October)

Without further ado, here are your finalists!

Sam Elliot

Sean Bean

Gerard Butler

Keifer Sutherland

Paul Newman

The HOTTEST Hero will be announced next week!

MOHH Heat 4 winner!

The winner for Heat 4 by the narrowest of margins is...

Paul Newman

Now onto the Grand Final!

Month of HOT Heroes - Heat 4

Yes, it's another Month of HOT Heroes, only this time I've taken on board the request of some readers and am showcasing some older, more "experienced" heroes from TV and the movies! (past & present) You'll get a shot of them in their younger days and as close to present day as I can find.
I'm calling on you again to provide your judging expertise and peruse the heroes over 4 heats and 1 grand final to find the Best of the Best.

It's an onerous job, but I'm sure with a little effort and application you'll successfully chose a HOT hero for the month.

This is Heat 4, the last one - let the judging begin!

Harrison Ford

Harrison Ford

George Clooney

George Clooney

Paul Newman

Paul Newman

Dylan McDermott

Dylan McDermott

Samuel L.Jackson

Samuel L.Jackson

Mark Harmon

Mark Harmon

MOHH Heat 3 winner!

A resounding win this time around.

Going into the final from Heat 3 is...

Gerard Butler

 Final heat coming up!

Month of HOT Heroes - Heat 3

Yes, it's another Month of HOT Heroes, only this time I've taken on board the request of some readers and am showcasing some older, more "experienced" heroes from TV and the movies! (past & present) You'll get a shot of them in their younger days and as close to present day as I can find.
I'm calling on you again to provide your judging expertise and peruse the heroes over 4 heats and 1 grand final to find the Best of the Best.

It's an onerous job, but I'm sure with a little effort and application you'll successfully chose a HOT hero for the month.

This is Heat 3 - let the judging begin!

Scott Bakula

Scott Bakula

Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp

Michael Weatherly

Michael Weatherly

Gerard Butler

Gerard Butler

Sean Connery

Sean Connery

Patrick Swayze

Patrick Swayze

MOHH Heat 2 winner!

You voted, and after tallying...this hero is going into the final...

Sean Bean

MOHH Heat 1 winner!

You voted, and after tallying - it was a tie!!!

Going into the final...

Sam Elliot

Keifer Sutherland

Month of HOT Heroes - Heat 2

Back by popular request!

Yes, it's another Month of HOT Heroes, only this time I've taken on board the request of some readers and am showcasing some older, more "experienced" heroes from TV and the movies! (past & present) You'll get a shot of them in their younger days and as close to present day as I can find.

I'm calling on you again to provide your judging expertise and peruse the heroes over 4 heats and 1 grand final to find the Best of the Best.

It's an onerous job, but I'm sure with a little effort and application you'll successfully chose a HOT hero for the month.

This is Heat 2 - let the judging begin!

Daniel Day Lewis

Daniel Day Lewis

Jackie Chan

Jackie Chan

Sean Bean

Sean Bean

Mel Gibson

Mel Gibson

Morgan Freeman

Morgan Freeman

Robert Redford

Robert Redford