I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK.
They know me here...


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Did I Nail It?

OK, I'm trying to practice what I preach, seeing as I've just posted a two-parter on How good is your opening line? (part 1) & (part 2).

After a lot of agonising, four different beginnings to the WIP, and many rewrites, here's the opening line of my next WIP (draft).

Fear reeked of a pungent bitterness that lingered in the nostrils but Varian wasn’t able to detect even a whiff of it on the gentle breeze.

These are the 3 questions I asked you to consider when reflecting on an opening line.
  1. Do the words chosen by the author catch your attention?
  2. Does the sentence raise a heap of questions you want answered?
  3. Is there any implied conflict in the information given?
Did I succeed?


  1. Kylie,
    "Fear reeked" instantly catches my attention. And definately lots of questions! - why is the pungent scent of fear in his nostrils and not in the air (is it remnants from earlier...is it more of a sense rather than smell etc). Those few words give the atmosphere of danger and conflict =)

  2. LOL - thanks Cath for your brevity.

    Thanks for pointing out the words that caught your attention, Mel. Appreciate it.