After a lot of agonising, four different beginnings to the WIP, and many rewrites, here's the opening line of my next WIP (draft).
Fear reeked of a pungent bitterness that lingered in the nostrils but Varian wasn’t able to detect even a whiff of it on the gentle breeze.
These are the 3 questions I asked you to consider when reflecting on an opening line.
- Do the words chosen by the author catch your attention?
- Does the sentence raise a heap of questions you want answered?
- Is there any implied conflict in the information given?
Posts
Yes, yes and yes:)
ReplyDeleteKylie,
ReplyDelete"Fear reeked" instantly catches my attention. And definately lots of questions! - why is the pungent scent of fear in his nostrils and not in the air (is it remnants from earlier...is it more of a sense rather than smell etc). Those few words give the atmosphere of danger and conflict =)
LOL - thanks Cath for your brevity.
ReplyDeleteThanks for pointing out the words that caught your attention, Mel. Appreciate it.